Archive | May, 2013

That L-Word

27 May

I hate the rain.

Some people like rain.  I don’t.  Raining means everything will be wet and muddy.  It means that the skies will be dark and everything will be gloomy.

This weekend, it rained.  It did not make me feel better in any way.

So I got out of the house for a quick drive.  Thought I could catch cute college guys in the nearby café, but ended up being surrounded by couples (UGH).  Which got me thinking, and thinking some more, making my weekend all the more depressing.

Fuck love.  Seriously.  I’m glad in works for some people.   If you’re in love and in a perfect relationship…good for you.  Congratulations.  I hope you don’t piss each other off halfway and feel like you’re just in it because you can’t do any better.

Because, in reality, YOU CAN’T.  That is the best you can do.  If you’re thinking that there’s someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated (you know, like you’re the Ventolin to their asthma).  If you think that there’s someone who will understand you and all your quirks.  Someone who will love you for who you are… HAHAHAHA I hate to break this to you, but no.  No one else will put up with you but the person you are with RIGHT NOW.

So toughen up.  Take all the shit they give you.  Shouting match everyday?  Take it.  Hates holding you hand? Accept it.  Makes fun of you and your passions?  Love them anyway.

Because you’re probably just as bad as they are, and hey.  They’re still there.  Annoying as fuck, but they’re still there.  And they still love you.

So hang on to your bitches, people.  Chances are, you won’t find anyone else.

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My Girl-Girl-friends

13 May

For some reason, the whole break-up gave me a sense of entitlement to be angry and immature.  It gave me the right to listen to angry songs because now I can relate.  Being miserable is making me happy.  It doesn’t make any sense, but I haven’t been making much sense lately.  But if it’s helping me cope, then I’ll take it.

I’m happier now.  I’m laughing so much more and really meaning it.  I’m getting to know myself better; irrational, spontaneous (LIE!!!) and nonsensical most of the time.  But my friends, my dear, dear, friends, accept me for all the bullshit I spit out.

I mean, these people let my dog vomit on them.  That’s amazing.   They lovingly wiped his drooling mouth with my underwear (unused) without bitching.  THAT’S LOVE.

They don’t get mad at me when I get lost in Panadacan or Paco or whatever ghetto Manila street we end up in. 

They listen to me rant about the most immature things and let me sing Wicked songs at the top of my lungs without telling me to shut up.  They tolerate my torpe-ness to the guys they (attempt) to set up with me because I’ve got no game.

So Helga, Triccie and Sam, this one’s for you girls

 I love you!

Hello, Happy Hanson Day!

7 May

So it was yesterday.  But I needed a title for this thing while I wait for my Dad to pick me up.

Since i’ve been following the Secret religiously, and i’m on this “positivity” high, I decided, that for once, I will write about happy things!  Also, I read my LJ and it tired me out.  Like literally.  I felt like someone was screaming at me for a good hour while I read my exploits back i college.

Or maybe it’s the constant talk about my thesis.  And the budding romance that you need to read between the lines for.

Which I can honestly say is hilarious at best.  I don’t feel sad or bad about it all.  It’s a learning experience and at 20, I can chalk it up to ~young love~ (except for the other one from Feb 2005 down, that one was just plain disgusting, i’m not singing any songs or writing about any of that shit, and you can tell because all I talked about was being single and not lamenting what we had).

Anyway, I am never going back to that.  

I’m pretty happy where I am now.  I like the freedom.  I like meeting new and exciting people.  I like that I can stay until late at work without having to worry about anyone’s schedule or dates.

Like, I genuinely enjoy pretend-hitting on my office “crush”.  No guilt about it all.  At least I get to practice my spit game on him. 

I enjoy this new relationship I am having with alcohol.  And how my friends are training me to be able to stay up late.  How they’re trying to “support” me through this all with constant night lakads and tolerating my sudden bursts of immaturity (while I tolerate theirs!)

On Sunday we’re going to have a picnic.  Tomorrow I’m going to panic-buy booze before the alcohol ban.

I’m beginning to let go of my “I want everything yesterday”, my feeling of entitlement and insecurities.  Hell, today i’m wearing crazy printed tights with hearts and bears.  I look like a toddler and I don’t give a flying fuck.

I am genuinely a better person and It feels wonderful.  I feel like dancing to 90’s songs but i’m too lazy to get up.

I even think that I look good.  Considering that I dropped 10lbs from not eating for 2 months.  That red lipstick makes me look like a pin-up girl.  I’m beginning to come to terms with the fact that my hair will take at least two years to grow back.  That I need to buy this bra in all colours because it makes my boobs look uh-mazing.  Oh, my favorite part of being single?

I can now devote all my love and my time to Hanson.

Happy Hanson Day Motherfuckers!