Archive | April, 2013

Single Girl Blues

26 Apr

DISCLAIMER: Humor me.  This is going to be a painful, angry, ranty post.  I also took a shot of GSM from the tatay bottle.  IT’S MY BLOG AND IF I WANNA BE GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT AND MAKE MY SPELLING SUCK I CAN OKAY.

So, this is being single.

It’s not that bad.  I get to to hang out with friends.  I get to work.  The thought of someone out there, someone shiny and new is exciting.  The search for that someone shiny and new is something I am not looking forward to.

That’s when it gets a little bit scary. Thinking of putting my best foot forward tires me out.  I don’t have the patience to get to know someone new.  It’s exhausting.  Imagine the process of the first date.  I’d have to wear something relatively decent.  Then I have to put make-up on, decide if I should wear contacts or glasses.  After that, I would need to bleach my teeth, fix my stupid short hair and spend an hour practicing my pretend smile in front of a mirror.

 And that’s just before the date.

Then what?  I look for the place.  Sit down, smile and engage in conversation.  Now how to impress this dude is another challenge in itself.  Do I ramble on about what I do?  Do I tell him about the dumb stuff I like doing?  Do I move it up a notch by getting current events (which I know nothing of by the way) all the while thinking, I’m so sleepy, I want to go home, Is my mascara running? OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT.

 Everyone is thinking, hey Saaaaaawnya, why not just be yourself?

Well everyone, it’s because Sanya Coo is not exactly first date material.   I AM NOT SMART, I JUST KNOW ENOUGH TO GET BY.  The rest of my brilliance comes after the first date (pun NOT INTENDED OKAY) The best of Sanya Coo is like, third date material (no I’m not talking about sex).  If you’re interested, and I’m remotely interested, you will have the best time of your life.  From food walks, the zoo to surprise overseas trips (oh yeah, you better believe it.  I do stupid things when I bored), life with me (even as a friend!) will never be boring.  “Ask any of my exes” is a bit crass to say, but hey.  It’s true.

Like, right now.  I am highly bored.  I’m looking at my office and half of my officemates are in meetings or just slacking off.   Sanya 3rd date material is thinking.

  1. I will text imaginary date what time he gets out of work.
  2. Worry about where I’m going to leave my car.
  3. Make  stupid excuse on why I’m going to be away for the weekend to my mom.
  4. Pick up imaginary date (or he picks me up, either way is fine) and go straight to NAIA 3. (oh shit, pick up passport pala muna)
  5. See if there are any tickets to HCM left.
  6. Fly to HCM
  7. Spend the weekend eating Banh Mi wearing the same clothes and chugging down Vietnamese Coffee.

OR invite him to that Hipster thing I have with my friends tonight and he can watch me get drunk after two bottles of beer.  Then he will realize that there’s not much difference between the drunk me to the un-drunk me.  Same lame jokes.  Same stupid rants.  Same non-sequiturs.  “I was an OFW”, “My Dad won’t pay for my credit card bill”, “I don’t know what i’m doing with my li—ife, but damn you’re cute” (assuming that I wouldn’t keep seeing him if HE UGLY.  But i’m not picky, I’m not simple girl type either).  Then I will show my crazy friends a meme on my phone (“WHY DO YOU HAVE MEMES ON YOUR PHONE?!?!”) then i’ll attempt to talk like a redneck, all ghetto, and maybe a little bit of that Australian accent I have carefully hidden from everyone.

And he will look at me and think WHAT THE HELL GUUURL GIT YOSELF TOGETHER!

Or if he has a meeting the next day, or we’re just too poor that day.  I don’t mind going to the Zoo.  I’ve always wanted to go to the Zoo…drunk (I really really like beer).  Or go to Dong Bei in Chinatown for some XLBs and legit mochi, not those pacute ones that you get from “bazaars”.  Or maybe drive to the beach because I feel like going to the beach for once in my life.  Or go PX goods shopping in Subic even if it kinda sucks there.  Or go some artsy vintage place and pretend to know about the struggles of being areal artist.  Or go to a café and discuss shallow things like Hanson, Honey Boo Boo and clothes.

Or maybe, he’ll take the reigns and take me somewhere exotic, exciting, fun and stupid at the same time.

Anyway.  Whatever.  This blog post is just pissing me off.  Here’s a picture of me during my chick days in a slutty outfit.  I guess since i’m single, I might as well bring out the goods.


That’s not the only costume I have, too.