Confessions of a 26-year-old Fangirl

5 Apr

To the few who read this blog, those who I have only met in college, and specially those who I know from work, this might come as a surprise. I am a Hanson fan. I have been a fan for 15 years.  It’s always funny when they find out, they either laugh and say “I used to be one too!” (take note of the tense)  or equate my fandom with their love for….say, U2.

Boy are they wrong.

To give you a clearer picture of my obsession, this is the formula I give people; whatever level of fandom you think I have, multiply it by 10.  Take a look at my internet usernames, photo captions, wallpapers, CD collection…That’s not even scraping the surface on how much of a fan I am.

I have been a fan for 15 years, I grew up from a teenybopper to a responsible, adult, SANE woman who works a 9-5 and is trying to make a relationship work on the side.  I like to think i’m more subdued, no longer writing their names on my arm using sharpies (Helga did the grown-up version of that by having a line from Runaway Run tattooed on her arm!).  Gone are the posters that covered my room up to the roof.  I no longer have the need to collect every single they come out with (because I don’t have the money), nor do I have the urge to watch their newest music video every minute of the day (I have work to finish).  I’ve mellowed down in my old age, happily bobbing my head along to “Love Somebody to Know” while Misha and I drive to our dates (I swear that song is written for him HAHAHA), listening to “Strong Enough to Break” in the office while I try wait for a spark of inspiration for a tagline.  Sometimes I get even corn-IER like singing “Penny and Me” with my windows down.  But I like to think that i’ve grown up, and so did my love for Hanson.  I had to, I couldn’t let myself be hung up and in love with them because I have to realize that, well—it ain’t happening.  I’ve stopped wanting to be their “friend” because let’s face it, so do 1 million other girls.

I am a fan and  it ends there. I let them (talagang kailangan ng blessing ko?) get on with their married lives without cursing their wives (medyo hindi ito totoo, pero may effort to be genuinely happy for them).  Of course there’s always THAT picture of Zac Hanson that will suddenly pop up on the internet that will make my heart swoon, there’s always that excitement whenever I watch their music video for the first time.  There’s always THAT song that I listen to when I’m down, up, upside down or high.  I’m a Hanson fan.  I never stopped being a fan, I just lost the -atic in the process of growing up.

So when they announced that they were coming to the Philippines again, (and believe me, we knew WAAAAY ahead!) and found out that they were playing in Manila and Cebu, the first question was: how to we get front seats for both shows?  Money was not a factor here, logistics, time, family…nothing else mattered after this.  We are going to see them and we are going to see them FRONT ROW and we are going to stalk follow them EVERYWHERE they go.  The second question was: OMG WHAT WILLL I WEAR?!?!

March 28, 2012: And I waited for you… (I can’t help it, i’m sorry)

I picked up Helga in the evening for the big “welcome” to Hanson in the airport.  We arrived a hour earlier to meet Yam, who is just the most awesome person ever was able to get us passes to be in the arrival area when they get there.  We were both giddy and nervous, we didn’t know if we wanted to shit or pee, cry or throw up.   We discussed our MO, tips on how to be mature, topics we could discuss with them or out loud for them to overhear (what do you think of the movie, Citizen Kane?  What’s your favorite Broadway Musical? and SHIT LIKE THAT) how we will be grown-ups and not scream…halfway through the discussion, we held hands and formed the Hanson Circle of Trust, we hugged after that like it was the smartest move we’ve ever done to show our support for each other.  WE ARE SUCH IDIOTS I SWEAR.   After an hour of discussing even dumber things, we spotted a group of blonde boys, one in an Indiana Jones hat, one with a suit and one who is just so hot that I could feel his good looks crawling in my skin.

 They’re here.




And this was what came out of my stupid mouth: HEY GUYS! WELCOME TO THE PHILIPPINES!


I stopped myself for saying something stupider and just stood there stunned. I can’t describe the feeling of seeing them up close for the first time in 15 years.   To actually say their name to call them was a new and exciting feeling.  When I greeted Taylor, my mouth and my brain had to pause for while because this was something that it not in my reality. I was calling them, I wasn’t referring to them, but actually calling their name because THEY WERE THERE.  It was a bizarre feeling that my whole body could not process. This wasn’t supposed to be happening, THIS IS NOT PART OF MY REALITY.

We had no words to say and all we could do was smile.  Smile at Helga, smile at Yam, smile while (creepily) oogling Zac and Isaac. Smile while looking at Taylor’s crotch and smile as Taylor took our picture with his Leica.

When I gathered my senses, I asked Taylor if it was a film camera (FILM MAJOR WIN!) and he goes “no, actually it’s digital, it’s a Leica.”  (FILM MAJOR FAIL!) and he mentioned for me to look at the screen.  The three of us timidly looked over his shoulder while he showed us some shots.  I saw the picture he took of us where I looked like an idiot and before I could filter my reaction and convert it into something ~intellectual~ my mouth took over, “I look retarded! I’m never buying a Leica!”  I screamed as I pointed at the picture.

“aaw, no you don’t” answered Taylor Hanson

…and that was how I started that week.


2 Responses to “Confessions of a 26-year-old Fangirl”

  1. helgaweber April 5, 2012 at 11:42 am #

    Kinikilig ako, sisterette!

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